[Nill shakes her head fiercely, before pressing her face into her knees so that she's basically just curled up into a ball on the ground, arms still around her middle. Despite that, though, she's outright shaking, her wings folded against her back and trembling as well.]
No matter what I do I can't keep anyone happy or safe, every time I try they end up hurt or gone or dead or worse than dead, and it isn't even because I'm trying it's just because everything is terrible and even when I start to think it's not they do something like this, they do it to everyone, and they start doing drugs or working hundreds of jobs or sleeping with terrible people because they can't be here, they can't stop to think, and all I wanted was for them to stay with me, and I always tried hard to stay here and be the one to stay because sometimes they came back but none of them do anymore and I can't do this I can't do anything I can't even keep one person safe and happy I can't do it anymore
[The voice in his head is borderline screaming now, if a voice in your head could ever be considered screaming, and Nill is nowhere near being consoled. It's questionable if she can even actually hear Yosuke beyond latching on to the first thing he said.
But she's seriously starting to lose control in a way t hat she absolutely can't allow, she's too open on her end and things are going to start leaking through, she can feel it, but she doesn't know how to stop it, so with another shuddering sob Nill lifts her hands to tangle her fingers in her hair. Shika. She needs Shika. Please, please let her be able to call him, please--]
get him out I can't I'm going to hurt him get him out GET HIM AWAY FROM ME
no subject
[Nill shakes her head fiercely, before pressing her face into her knees so that she's basically just curled up into a ball on the ground, arms still around her middle. Despite that, though, she's outright shaking, her wings folded against her back and trembling as well.]
No matter what I do I can't keep anyone happy or safe, every time I try they end up hurt or gone or dead or worse than dead, and it isn't even because I'm trying it's just because everything is terrible and even when I start to think it's not they do something like this, they do it to everyone, and they start doing drugs or working hundreds of jobs or sleeping with terrible people because they can't be here, they can't stop to think, and all I wanted was for them to stay with me, and I always tried hard to stay here and be the one to stay because sometimes they came back but none of them do anymore and I can't do this I can't do anything I can't even keep one person safe and happy I can't do it anymore
[The voice in his head is borderline screaming now, if a voice in your head could ever be considered screaming, and Nill is nowhere near being consoled. It's questionable if she can even actually hear Yosuke beyond latching on to the first thing he said.
But she's seriously starting to lose control in a way t hat she absolutely can't allow, she's too open on her end and things are going to start leaking through, she can feel it, but she doesn't know how to stop it, so with another shuddering sob Nill lifts her hands to tangle her fingers in her hair. Shika. She needs Shika. Please, please let her be able to call him, please--]
get him out I can't I'm going to hurt him get him out GET HIM AWAY FROM ME