[And just like that, the safe and warm feeling is gone. For a moment, something angry and hurt rips through her, and she wants it back desperately-- god, she just wants to feel right again, and she hadn't in years. There were days it physically hurt to exist, and for just a moment that had actually made it better.
(Shika said hurting her soul was forever, but she didn't want forever, there were days she didn't even want tomorrow--)
Something is wrong though, and the anger dies down as quickly as it had risen up. Nill lifts her head, and she watches - just not knowing what to do - as Yosuke crumbles from the inside.
Nill stands up immediately, but she doesn't know what to do, how to help. Theoretically, she could make it better. Force happy thoughts and feelings and warmth on him until it just didn't hurt anymore. But she can't do that. He needed this. Nill would have died a thousand deaths to prevent him from ever needing this, but now he did, and taking that away would be horrible of her.
She thinks for a quarter of a second about how it might be giving him the wrong idea, but that's the most she entertains the thought before Nill moves to sit on the edge of the best. She wants to hug him, but she thinks that'd probably just end up hurting more.
So, Nill puts her hand over his, and she holds it - and she glances away, at least for the moment. He probably didn't want her seeing. But she was there, at least, and maybe that was enough.
(Souls are important. They're forever. They're everything. She knows that. She knows that it would be stupid to sell hers, even if she still had it.
But if the soul is the thing inside her that hurt so badly, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad not to have it anymore.)]
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(Shika said hurting her soul was forever, but she didn't want forever, there were days she didn't even want tomorrow--)
Something is wrong though, and the anger dies down as quickly as it had risen up. Nill lifts her head, and she watches - just not knowing what to do - as Yosuke crumbles from the inside.
Nill stands up immediately, but she doesn't know what to do, how to help. Theoretically, she could make it better. Force happy thoughts and feelings and warmth on him until it just didn't hurt anymore. But she can't do that. He needed this. Nill would have died a thousand deaths to prevent him from ever needing this, but now he did, and taking that away would be horrible of her.
She thinks for a quarter of a second about how it might be giving him the wrong idea, but that's the most she entertains the thought before Nill moves to sit on the edge of the best. She wants to hug him, but she thinks that'd probably just end up hurting more.
So, Nill puts her hand over his, and she holds it - and she glances away, at least for the moment. He probably didn't want her seeing. But she was there, at least, and maybe that was enough.
(Souls are important. They're forever. They're everything. She knows that. She knows that it would be stupid to sell hers, even if she still had it.
But if the soul is the thing inside her that hurt so badly, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad not to have it anymore.)]